So where is that old Ozzy, this column's favourite professional writer, the one and only Buff Staysail aka "BS"? While down under I caught up with Buff, currently working for Queensland Community TV as their sailing correspondent covering the America's Cup. Take it away Buff!
Howdy folks! Buff Staysail here Buff by name and Buff by nature!
There are those that say that the America's Cup is boring! Can you believe that! Take this story from someone called Tillerman! Bet he hasn't used a tiller in years!
He clearly doesn't appreciate the zen like level of sailing that the AC (as we buffs - get it! - call it) has achieved. He doesn't understand the skill of presenters of covering a sporting event where not only does nothing seem to happen for 20 minutes (especially as one bit of water looks much like another.) but even the sailors don't seem to move a muscle!
Now on our program - Queensland Community TV's Sailing Show - we don't have the computer graphics and live feeds of the mainstream channels, we make do with wooden models and my talent! (Ed - for some reason the viewing figures were not available). And of course the AC hasn't implemented the suggestions my ol' drinking mate JP suggested - for that would simply be pandering to the masses - all that talk of sinkings and shorter laps I ask you.
That is evidence they clearly are unfamiliar with the key insights that yours truly has brought to the sport : for example the BS head-angle theory, which suggests that the helmsmen are aligning their head with the tilt of the mast to reduce the wind-flow by that crucial 0.00134%. Or the impact of the angle that the crew lie on the deck makes on internal stress framework of the boat?
And above all have they not noticed that this is the closest AC for years? And that in terms of money spent this must be sailing's premier sport?
I don't know, winging poms and yanks!
For those with more taste, you know where to get your sailing fix - thats right, Queensland Community TV's Sailing Show - see you there!