Boats not on that list.... and why

Yesterday I posted 10 varied types of craft that I've spotted out on the Thames recently and taken a snap. But there were others out, that were missed out.... what were they and why no photo?

So here are 10 more craft out there and why they were missed out.

1. Kayaks and Canoes

No Bonnie, not forgotten, and yes they were out there, so why no snaps? Well two reasons really. Firstly kayakers are always looking around at the world around and might well spot yours truly snapping way and I'd get all self conscious and wish could explain about the competitive world of blogging ("You don't understand how tough it is! Two fellow bloggers .... this week alone!").

Sailors aren't thinking about folk ashore, but instead are wondering if their sails are set right, if a burst of wind is about to blow them over, if they're about to be run over by a bigger boat. Ditto motor boat drivers who worry too much about whether they look cool and are they going faster than the next boat.

Also of course I almost certainly knew the kayakers out there and that brings all sorts of issues starting with "surely this is fine weather enough even for you JP".

2. RNLI Lifeboat

Its out there all the time and doesn't go as fast as the Police boat (I've seen them race - they might have claimed it was for an emergency but we all know it was to prove who had the meanest boat on the river). Anyhow been a bit grim week for safety of life and the Thames.

3. River taxis

Not exactly exciting and too big for my requirements. An everyday boat.

4. Party boats

Why do people think this is a good idea? You're stuck on-board with no option to leave surrounded by people trying to drink the bar dry. Four words to remember: "The Office Booze Cruise"

5. Support boats

These are usually just tin cans with outboards, containing someone with a megaphone yelling out to rowers to "pull harder, row faster" etc

6. Rubbish boats

Big yellow things, very slow and heavy, no engines and very, very smelly. Not good for entertaining dates. Honk very loudly at other boats foolish enough to get in their way (rowers and their support boats, you know what I mean)

7. Inflatables

Look like they've taken the wrong turning and probably are about to drift out to sea. Ok, not that bad, but usually overloaded and underpowered for the Thames.

8. Narrow boats

Do not seem happy on the Thames. Scuttle as quickly as they can to a canal where there are real ale pubs and morris dancers.

9. Surf boards

Not sure that counts as a boat and anyhow just looks like two surfer dudes showing off. Now if it had been Scarlett Johansson lying on the board doing those overarm strokes, that might have been worth photographing.

Hmmm.... seem to have missed something.... what can it be.....oh yes, of course:

10. Power boats

It seems the dark side isn't the power it thought it was as alas these are instantly forgettable. None of them look anything like a Riva classic, they're just plastic blobs, not worth taking a snap of. But there were rather a lot of them out there, buzzing like annoyed bees.

So there you go, twenty different types of boat on or around the Thames over the last week.

And even better the list didn't include the dreaded Bubbler!

Which boat..... and why?

A selection of pics of some of the boats out on the Thames over the last week. Which would you choose and why?

Pick 1 (above) is the Laser, while choice 2 (below) is an old fashioned rowing gig Thames Waterman Cutter (thanks Chris):

Next up choice 3 on dry land a lifeboat:

CHOICE NUMBER FOUR WHICH WAS VERY LOUD IS THIS HOVERCRAFT:

More peaceful this Enterprise is number 5:

A bit more up to date this RS Vision choice 6:

A bit more exciting, the old bill's choice, its number 7:

And lets not forget at number 8 its the fire and rescue team:

At 9 it's the rowing boat that posted earlier, captured in the sunset:

And last but not least at number 10 there's this, the Clarkson special:

Also....... what isn't on this list?

The Pool of London

While out powerboating last weekend we passed this lovely Thames barge, the SB Cabby, heading towards Tower Bridge. It was a scene that could have come from any time in the last hundred years.

It was a shame not to see her with her sails up. I suppose that today its thought to be too hard to sail such a vessel in the confined spaces of the Pool of London. But of course in its day the sailors would think nothing of it, doing that every day whatever the weather, as I read about in the book "The Mate of the Caprice."

But despite that she looked beautiful, naturally at home in these waters.

They even raised the bridge to let her in - magnificent!

Is this a yacht?

If you enter "yacht" into Google (or indeed Bing!) images you will see lots of pictures like this one. Though probably not exactly this one, which I copied from Tillerman's blog without his permission - an act of open Internet piracy which is natural to one who has flirted with the Dark Side.

Alas, fellow sailors, I think our word has been press ganged by the enemies, an insult to all that is proper. The picture above is of a motor yacht: a real yacht looks a bit like this:

One thing I noticed when doing the powerboat course last weekend is that a yacht under power steers very differently to a motor yacht.

I'm not that great at parking: no one has actually said "don't worry JP, we can swim the last few metres" but they probably thought it.

So it was good to have some excuses when things went pear shape, namely:

1. When going slowly and you turn the wheel on a yacht the boat follows like its on tracks, unlike a RIB which without a keel does a bit of sliding sideways
2. Yachts also have a rudder, so when the engine is neutral you have steerage way as long as the yacht is moving, unlike a RIB which has a tendency to follow the wind. I think that probably explains why RIBs etc go fast - they have to have their engines on all the time to control the boat. Which makes it lucky that:
3. RIBS are a lot more bouncy than yachts.

Two Thames Stories

1. Rowing on the Thames

Oh no! In my previous post on different types of boats Chris of Rowing for Pleasure spotted I missed out rowing. All I can say is sorry and blame again trying to write a post while watching BBC4's Sea Fever series (confession, I'm doing that now, so beware typos and further omissions).

Of course there are times when the rowing boat is the best craft, and in honour of that truth I've re-posted a picture of two of the rowing boats most famous proponents. However I wouldn't like to travel through central London in one, and not just for the larger boats rushing by.

A bigger problem is the current. I remember seeing one afternoon a traditional wooden rowing boat attempting to row against the ebbing tide and failing. However hard the man at the oars struggled, he and his friend were being dragged down river.

In the end they gave up and beached the boat just below a pub where they vanished for several hours. Much later that day I saw them head up river, the tide now with them, till they disappeared into the dusk.

I have this feeling that though their afternoon hadn't gone to plan, it had still been a good day.

2. The old bill cautions two powerboaters

Like Adam from Messing About in Sailboats I too have received an email from Lisa Bertil of Safeboater describing 23 of the worst boating accidents. Reminds me a bit like the book Total Loss that I reviewed earlier.

Adam posted some excellent top tips, like going on a training course, wearing a life jacket and checking the weather.

While doing the powerboat course over the weekend we saw some good examples of boaters not following this good advice. The first RIB was in the lock with us and the crew had no life jackets and only a couple of layers of clothing on a day with biting North-Easterlies. Unsurprisingly they quickly decided they had had enough and headed in.

Further up towards Tower Bridge as we passed the River Police HQ we saw one of the bill's launches stop another power boat. In it were two lads with no wet weather gear, no lifejackets and no kill cord.

"Now then, now then, what's all this?"

After a proper ticking off they were allowed to go on their way with sheepish grins.

Let's have fun, but lets be careful out there.

There is no one best boat

There are many different ways to get on the water, but there's no best.

If you want to travel down a little river like the Wandle then a kayak is good, and then there are different kayaks for slalom, tricks or seas. On some rivers like the Cam only a punt will do.

If you want to race sail in a lake or river then nothing beats a boat like a Laser which you can also race, but for day sails or family trips something bigger like an Enterprise, Stratos or Wayfarer is better. On holiday in warm blue waters there is nothing like a Hobie cat.

If you want to sail further afield then there are big boats, cruising yachts and racing yachts, the sorts that potter around the Solent, across the Channel or even the Atlantic.

But there are occasions where these aren't the right boats, and the Thames is one. Take the kayak: yes it can go down the river, but I wouldn't want to be in one in the centre of London. Here there are lots of big boats, and some like the Clippers going very fast. There are piers and moored boats and fast currents that can trap you against them in a potentially lethal way.

And dinghies are alas little better. Often moving too slow to overcome the current and stymied by one huge obstacle - the bridges. I have heard it seriously said that the best way to travel under them is to capsize, drift under (assuming the current is in the right direction) and then get back in.

So the powerboat is here a good solution, able to get from Putney to the Thames Barrier and back, something that neither dinghies nor kayaks can seriously manage.

They are also great for jump in and go entertainment, and as posted earlier it was an absolute blast to go through the Thames Barrier in one at 20 knots.

But their accessibility is also their weak point, which is that they are often driven by those who don't understand the needs and concerns of others messing about on the water. However that is the fault of those that use them not the boats themselves.

Its a bit like skiers vs. snowboarders: they can enjoy the mountains better if separated onto different slopes.

The good thing about the water is that there are many, many ways of enjoying it. The bad thing is that it appears that just one boat won't be enough!

An Explanation

Ok, it was like this.

It started with an idea of my brother and his family: why don't they hire a motor boat up river on the Thames? They have four children under ten and what could be better for them than a little messing about on the water. And where better for it than the home of Ratty and Mole and the rest of the Wind in the Willows crew, as well as Three Men in a Boat, and many, many others.

Then who better to come along too than Uncle JP as he knows about boats and can do stuff like mooring up, springs, knots and things. And indeed the idea of a bit of messing about with boats, and with nephews and nieces, and on the Thames - well, my reaction was simple: count me in.

But then the doubts: maybe there are things you should know about boats that don't have sails and stuff, and maybe a spot of revision wouldn't hurt, for as you might have noticed there is often a long gap between venturing out on the water.

Luckily the RYA is a bit like the App Store, in that what ever your needs there is a course for that. After a bit of Googling came up with the RYA Powerboat level 2 course at the London Powerboat School.

So last weekend went down to Docklands and had an absolute blast, especially going through the Thames Barrier and under Tower Bridge at 20 knots. Note the picture in yesterday's post came from these people here.

The instructor, Bill, was excellent, and full of top tips on how to board oil rigs and keep pace with Japanese Whalers and other skills that came from his time driving RIBs for Greenpeace. Highly recommended.

More from the dark side to come....

A Message to all Sailors

Sailors - listen carefully, for you have been misled.

The powerboat is not bad as you have been told. This is said by those that have yet to have their eyes open, who still wander in the vale of ignorance.

The powerboat is a thing of beauty. Forget despondently drifting in the calm, forget taking hours to get anywhere, forget having to do things called a "tack" or a "gybe" just to go where you want to go. Forget having to worry about masts bashing into bridges and join me.

For today I blasted through the Thames Barrier at 20 knots, and what glory there was in that moment. Then I powered through central London passing St. Pauls before returning to fly under Tower Bridge at 20 knots, and how great was the feeling.

And verily it was revealed that the powerboat is good.

JP joins the Dark Side!!

We all know that power-boating is wrong.

From early days of Swallows and Amazons and their "sail is the thing" to adults knowing that real boaters are not those flash wide boys throwing up wakes, but instead are in tune with the waves and the wind have so nothing to do with those nasty, smelly, noisy power boats.

But there is a power to the dark side. Experience the flow of air in your face, the roar of the engine, and the feeling of flight as the hull lifts off to plane over the water.

Yes, alas, JP has spent the day power boating. And he's going to do it again tomorrow, with some pathetic talk about there being "reasons."

Pah! We know what that means. He is lost, lost for ever.

No flowers please.