Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Boats not on that list.... and why

Yesterday I posted 10 varied types of craft that I've spotted out on the Thames recently and taken a snap. But there were others out, that were missed out.... what were they and why no photo?

So here are 10 more craft out there and why they were missed out.

1. Kayaks and Canoes

No Bonnie, not forgotten, and yes they were out there, so why no snaps? Well two reasons really. Firstly kayakers are always looking around at the world around and might well spot yours truly snapping way and I'd get all self conscious and wish could explain about the competitive world of blogging ("You don't understand how tough it is! Two fellow bloggers .... this week alone!").

Sailors aren't thinking about folk ashore, but instead are wondering if their sails are set right, if a burst of wind is about to blow them over, if they're about to be run over by a bigger boat. Ditto motor boat drivers who worry too much about whether they look cool and are they going faster than the next boat.

Also of course I almost certainly knew the kayakers out there and that brings all sorts of issues starting with "surely this is fine weather enough even for you JP".

2. RNLI Lifeboat

Its out there all the time and doesn't go as fast as the Police boat (I've seen them race - they might have claimed it was for an emergency but we all know it was to prove who had the meanest boat on the river). Anyhow been a bit grim week for safety of life and the Thames.

3. River taxis

Not exactly exciting and too big for my requirements. An everyday boat.

4. Party boats

Why do people think this is a good idea? You're stuck on-board with no option to leave surrounded by people trying to drink the bar dry. Four words to remember: "The Office Booze Cruise"

5. Support boats

These are usually just tin cans with outboards, containing someone with a megaphone yelling out to rowers to "pull harder, row faster" etc

6. Rubbish boats

Big yellow things, very slow and heavy, no engines and very, very smelly. Not good for entertaining dates. Honk very loudly at other boats foolish enough to get in their way (rowers and their support boats, you know what I mean)

7. Inflatables

Look like they've taken the wrong turning and probably are about to drift out to sea. Ok, not that bad, but usually overloaded and underpowered for the Thames.

8. Narrow boats

Do not seem happy on the Thames. Scuttle as quickly as they can to a canal where there are real ale pubs and morris dancers.

9. Surf boards

Not sure that counts as a boat and anyhow just looks like two surfer dudes showing off. Now if it had been Scarlett Johansson lying on the board doing those overarm strokes, that might have been worth photographing.


Hmmm.... seem to have missed something.... what can it be.....oh yes, of course:

10. Power boats

It seems the dark side isn't the power it thought it was as alas these are instantly forgettable. None of them look anything like a Riva classic, they're just plastic blobs, not worth taking a snap of. But there were rather a lot of them out there, buzzing like annoyed bees.


So there you go, twenty different types of boat on or around the Thames over the last week.

And even better the list didn't include the dreaded Bubbler!