There was great excitement recently when NASA has announced they were to hold a press conference to discuss alien life. This blog can exclusively reveal its contents having interviewed team leader Buff Spaceman (no relation). Take it away Buff:
Beep! Hello Houston and blog readers. Buff Spaceman here, Buff by name and A-Ok by nature!
We've been researching communications from aliens when we observed a phenomena in which large numbers of the members of the public are driven to create sculptures from crystalline dihydrogen monoxide (DHMO) for apparently no reason and - this is critical - having a similar structure!
Our research suggests that this can only be due to a psychic message from an alien life form that is being picked up by those with subconscious tuned to the right frequencies, a message that makes the recipient driven by forces beyond their knowledge to create solid objects.
This "Spontaneous Crystalline DHMO Alien Sculpture Phenomena" or SCDASP has been observed on a very large scale across high latitudes. This geometry suggests the aliens could live in the direction of the North Star, which is the focus on an ongoing investigation.
What is interesting is that they describe these SCDASP as a "Snow Man". The use of the word "snow" rather than the more correct Crystalline DHMO suggests a sophisticated branding effort by the aliens to make themselves more acceptable to the mass of human population, and the word "man" we are interpreting as an attempt to humanise the non-human.
Already xenobiologists are arguing about what the structure reveals about their life cycle, in particular how they move. One school of thought suggests they bounce on the lower sphere while another suggests they are actually aquatic, form similar to seals but with flippers evolved into arms and hands.
Further research is clearly needed and we would welcome any field observations you might have.
Remember - the truth is out there!
This is Buff Spaceman - A-Ok and out! Beep!