Tuesday, November 30, 2010

British scientists discover "Winter"!

Today's a proud day for Blighty as British Boffins make the discovery of the year - nay, the decade. Those big brains have been beavering away with their data sets and climate models and have just made a break-through of epic proportions.

Apparently there is evidence of a 365.25 day cycle between periods of low temperature or "winter" as they are describing it.

"We were shocked" said a man with a beard. "But the evidence is very strong for this phenomena."

However across the pond there was scepticisms and the results were described as "controversial". Alaskan MumsNet spokesperson was categorical "This so-called Winter is a plot by progressive liberals to scare the public into handing over hard working honest tax payers money to scientists and the Obama administration is using it to impose a socialistic dictatorship!!"

We are also hearing about reports of security implications. The beltway think-tank "Big Bills Inc" has warned that the impact of "Winter" is to turn Dihydrogen monoxide or DHMO - a lethal substance commonly used in nuclear reactors - into a crystalline form which can be converted by terrorists into projectiles that can be targeted at freedom loving Americans!

Said their spokesperson Mr Off The Record "It is shocking that Government agencies have no action plan for cystalline DHMO projectiles and we have prepared a $ 50 million study program to investigate."

The White House was unavailable for comment.