Today we are joined by a (rather scary) representative from Leech, Vam, Pire & Partners lawyers who is to make an official statement.
On behalf of our client, Mr Buff Staysail, we would like to make clear our regret at the incident at the London Boat Show. Our client is willing to accept without reservation that he is not the "Original Buff" and that he in no way had any hand in the creation of this brand. Furthermore he accepts that his statement that "it was all my idea" was completely without substance.
Mr Buff Staysail regrets grabbing handfuls of the product and throwing them into the watching crowd. Also after closer examination he agrees that the statement "I don't need one I'm not going bald" was factually incorrect. In addition he sincerely regrets trying to demonstrate on the sales woman his theory that the headband could be used to support other parts of the body.
In conclusion he willing agrees with the request to remain at least 50 m from any Buff store and accepts that his behaviour was in part due to a long session in the Boat Show bar.
With this statement we suggest that the incident is hereby considered closed.