William Golding, sailor

Been overloaded with work at JP HQ so likely to be gaps between postings.

Today's short post is to point you towards this article about Nobel and Booker prize winning author William Golding who wrote Lord of the Flies.

Apparently he was a keen sailor until an accident at sea in the fog in which he lost his ship and nearly the lives of him and his crew.



Picture from: The Guardian

The Don Giovanni pitch at the Oscars

INT: the Oscars. Movie mogul WEISUP is with his assistant YESMANN watching the proceedings glumly.

WEISUP (applauding)

Jeez, another for The Artist: Best Original Score. Well there was no real dialog so I guess they could put some money into the music. What ever happened to that classical number of ours, what was it, THE DON or something?

YESMANN

I think you mean DON GOVIANNI sir

WEISUP

That's the one. Is it a silent?

YESMANN

Er, no sir. There's singing.

WEISUP

What, you mean, like a musical? Who's the composer?

YESMANN

It's Mozart sir.

WEISUP (applauding again)

Jeez, lost another, we've got to up our game. I'll give this Mozart guy a ring.

YESMANN

...er... sir... that's not going to be easy.

WEISUP

One of these hard-ball playing arty types? Won't return your call or something? I'll find out who his agent is. Ok, fill me in, what's our Don into?

YESMANN

Well Don Giovanni's a real womaniser, seduces all the ladies....

WEISUP

I like it, I like it, he's really the victim, one of those sexual compulsive types, a bit like Shame, that won awards. We can have lots of hot women and its all "for art". George Clooney, he'd be great in that part, you'd believe he could score anyone.  Ok, who's the love interest?

YESMANN

Well there's Donna Anna, she's the one he betrays in the start plus he murders her dad.

WEISUP

That's a great opening, can see it now, we can get Jennifer Aniston to play the dumped girl. But we need someone tough to stand up to this Don and raise the stakes.

YESMANN

Yes sir, that's when Mozart brings in Donna Elvira. She used to be Don Giovanni's lover but he abandoned her. Now she's out for revenge but a part of her still loves him - she's conflicted sir.

WEISUP

Now that's something we can work with. I see her as Clare Danes - on the edge, borderline psychotic. You never know if she's going to kill him or marry him, popping handfuls of those green pills the docs have prescribed, right?

YESMANN

.... well sir, I'm not sure the director sees this as being about modern medicine and pills....

WEISUP (thumping the arm of the chair)

He's right, dammit, she's not taken her pills!!! She's about to blow!! This sounds great, Yesmann. But the humour, we need to round this out, can't be all grim.

YESMANN

There's Don Giovanni's servent, Leporello. He gets the best lines, but you have to play them straight, not Jim Carrey, maybe that Hobbit.

WEISUP

Not that creep that goes all weird about his precious?

YESMANN

Er.... I think the director was thinking of Martin Freeman, you know, Bilbo?

WEISUP

Oh him, yes he's good. Ok, tell me more, what's the plot?

YESMANN

Well there's this wedding of a peasant girl......

WEISUP

She can be Penelope Cruz - make sure the dress is cut real low

YESMANN

... and Don Giovanni tries to seduce her but Donna Elvira is there too with Donna Anna and her fiancée, and they're out for revenge. There's a decadent ball which turns into a rampaging mob out for Don Giovanni's blood but he escapes in the dark of night to a graveyard.

Here a statue warns him ....

WEISUP

A statue?

YESMANN

Yes, it sort of comes to life, and Don Giovanni invites him to dinner later that night.

WEISUP

I know - we can get Schwarzenegger and he can say "I'll be back". They'll just love that.

YESMANN

That sounds a great idea sir, because the statue, that's the ghost of Il Commendatore, Donna Anna's dad, does return and at the end of Act 2 he drags Don Giovanni down to hell!!

WEISUP

I like it, I like it!! It will be like Terminator all over again. Ok, so what happens in Act 3?

YESMANN

Er, there's no Act 3 sir.

WEISUP

No Act 3? But there's always a third act! Robert McKee told me himself at that MGM drinks reception.

YESMANN

Well Mozart only wrote two acts sir.

WEISUP

And you told me this Mozart dude doesn't return calls, that's right. But you can't end up with Clooney in hell!

(thinks)

I've got it, it's going to be great. We can write our own!!! As I see it this Donna Elvira broad goes after him, yup, even into hell itself. And no guns work there so she and Il Commendatore battle it out with swords, flashing amongst the red fires.

It will be like Kill Bill! Or Buffy and Angel!! All blood and guts! Even the devil is scared of her, right?

Then of course she wins and they return to Earth. Sure he's a sex junkie and she's psychotic, but together they work, right? And then Aniston get's her man too, and that's a wrap!!

YESMANN

Er.... yes sir.



Picture from: Covent Garden

Comedy writer in 130 knot cyclone

One of my favourite blogs is "By Ken Levine".

It's not on the boating blog list as he's not into boats that don't have bars. Indeed when he recently visited Auckland he thought he was going to the "city of sales" and was disappointed to learn the truth.

However he is a very funny writer behind such favs as Cheers and Frasier so I visit his site regularly and recently he's been through a cyclone where the wind speed hit 130 knots.

Fortunately the crew rose to the moment and continued with those all important bingo sessions!

Read all about it here.


Picture from: By Ken Levine.

Fulham Reach and Oscar Wilde

Yesterday's post about Oscar Wilde's Impression du Matin brought a number of comments which raised issues such as artistic references and the character of the young woman he described, but no one mentioned exclusive riverside properties.

It was on the way back from Geneva in the BA in-flight magazine that I saw an advert for the Fulham Reach development and soon googled its web site. It is what an ex of mine would call "fancy": facilities include not just a gym but also swimming pool, spa (with sauna, steam room, treatment room), screening room, virtual golf and a wine cellar (obviously).

There is even a movie you can watch, but note on the page about the apartments the interior designs were apparently inspired by "Oscar Wilde's evocative poem about the River Thames, 'Impression du Matin".

Hmmmm..... lets look in more detail about the images in the poem. The yellow fog for example - this reference suggests the yellow could be associated with decay. Another article takes a more chemical approach considering how the yellow could be associated with tar soluble in fog water - in other words, industrial pollution.

The young lady is in many articles described as... well, shall we say lady of the night? She could have political overtones, for at the time a contentious issue was the contagious diseases act that attempted to prevent the spread of VD but the approach outraged many as an insult on working women.

In summary, as this article put it, this is not a "stop and smell the roses" poem. It promises sparkly water but gives the reader a glimpse of London's dark underbelly.

Not what one would usually associate with an upmarket property development, I'd fancy.


Picture from: Fulham Reach web site

Oscar Wilde's Impression du Matin

THE Thames nocturne of blue and gold  

  Changed to a harmony in grey;  

  A barge with ochre-coloured hay  

Dropt from the wharf: and chill and cold  

  

The yellow fog came creeping down

  The bridges, till the houses' walls  

  Seemed changed to shadows, and St. Paul's  

Loomed like a bubble o'er the town.  

  

Then suddenly arose the clang  

  Of waking life; the streets were stirred

  With country waggons; and a bird  

Flew to the glistening roofs and sang.  

  

But one pale woman all alone,  

  The daylight kissing her wan hair,  

  Loitered beneath the gas lamps' flare,

With lips of flame and heart of stone

Impressions? Interpretations? References?

Cargoes by John Masefield

Quinquireme of Nineveh from distant Ophir,
Rowing home to haven in sunny Palestine,
With a cargo of ivory,
And apes and peacocks,
Sandalwood, cedarwood, and sweet white wine.

Stately Spanish galleon coming from the Isthmus,
Dipping through the Tropics by the palm-green shores,
With a cargo of diamonds,
Emeralds, amythysts,
Topazes, and cinnamon, and gold moidores.

Dirty British coaster with a salt-caked smoke stack,
Butting through the Channel in the mad March days,
With a cargo of Tyne coal,
Road-rails, pig-lead,
Firewood, iron-ware, and cheap tin trays.

Single handed sailing

I was going to follow up yesterday's post with a health and safety report into Slocum's voyage around the world, but it seemed a bit too easy.

You can just imagine it: "no up to date charts, not even a single GPS or EPIRB, no radar reflector, log burning fire risk, no life raft or grab bags bla bla bla."

But there does seem an important issue here - can single handed sailing be sufficiently safe that it can be encouraged through organised races?

I dunno......I mean, one person can't be on watch all the time, and the stats show it is a lot more dangerous than crewed races such as the Volvo starting this weekend.

Double handed seems to be a better solution. No more "around alone" but "sail with a mate" - unless of course you're lucky enough to "meet and fall in love".

After all even Slocum got married - not just once but twice.

Iain M. Banks and the search for Utopia

After yesterday's theremin themed post a brief word on the rest of the British Library's Out of this World exhibition.

To be honest I was disappointed: it was trying too hard to show that there is a long tradition in what we now call science fiction and that even "serious" writers dabble in it. That for me is not the point, which is it is a medium that allows the writer to explore ideas. The exhibition did acknowledge that, but without going into depth as to the details of these conflicting ideas and overlooked some of the most important SF books.

It could also be argued that many "serious" writers make a mess of SF as they don't understand the genre, but there is of course the counter example of Iain Banks - or rather his alter-ego, Iain M. Banks, a disguise almost as effective as Clark Kent's.

His utopian Culture series of SF novels are a favourite of mine, and the disappointment of the exhibition was countered by a very interesting discussion on the concept of Utopia between Banks and Gregory Claeys, author of Searching for Utopia.

Claeys gave a rather academic (read mind expanding) summary of his thesis, which was that utopias were really about hope rather than religion, politics etc. I got the feeling the attention of audience, heavily biased towards fans of The Culture, slipped a bit at this point.

But Banks did not disappoint, jumping like one of his stories from idea to idea, not always in a linear way (again like his stories) but always entertaining.

The session was chaired by Francis Spufford who wrote the totally wonderful "The Backroom Boys: the return of the British Boffin" (hurrah huzzah!).

There was a lively discussion, to which yours truly contributed the thesis that there are inevitably disagreements about what would be ideal and the concept of utopia is useful therefore as a mechanism to debate their merits.

Anyhow, a fascinating evening that made up for a mediocre exhibition. There are other talks in the series and the program can be downloaded in PDF form here.

The theremin, the swan and the gig at the British Library

A diversion from all things watery to post about an evening spent with things silvery, namely an event at the British Library part of their SF themed Out of this World exhibition. I say event as that's what it was described as though to be honest wasn't sure what to expect, and came in good time straight from work thinking it would be a bit like a concert, sitting down in silence. Wrong, wrong, wrong....

The first sign was the costumes - tin foil and Star Wars helmets came into it, plus there were some performance artists from the Immaculative Extremists who did it professionally. Then no one really sat down - ok there weren't that many seats, but there was lots of mingling, chatting even, trips to the bar and it was all held in the British Library's main antrium, which is a pretty impressive space.

The program can be seen below.

Apart from two DJ sets the first of the two main events was the Radio Science Orchestra playing a number of well known themes (think Doctor Who) plus versions of classics like The Swan by Saint-Saens played upon a theremin.

What's that you might ask? Well you can see it in action above played by Charlie Draper who basically waves his hands in the air very carefully (shaking definitely not a good idea) in a way that alters the radio system's resonant frequency via his capacitance - full and more accurate description on Wikipedia here. Note the use of that great word "heterodyne" which I first read in those classic pulp SF books by E.E. "Doc" Smith.

Anyhow, bravo to Charlie!

More here and they have an album on iTunes so click here for an uncut version.

After a break and another DJ it was on to the second part, the return of the legendary Global Communication, the ambient music group from the 1990s, performing their classic 76:14, one of the Guardian top 1,000 albums. Hmmm.... not exactly a short list, but then again it is a laid back piece.... a very laid back piece.

It did eventually get going and people started dancing.



I get the feeling that would never have happened in the old British Library reading room. Maybe things would have been better if they had - Karl Marx so busy dancing with George Eliot he never gets round to writing his up his big idea (what is known to SF buffs as an alternative history).

An enjoyable evening; all very cutting edge in a retro way.

Two big thumbs up - or should that be six waving tentacles up?

Updated: at the request of the Radio Science Orchestra have taken down the video - sorry!

JP accepts adverts shock!!

It's a sad day here at JP HQ where we've finally accepted a big fat cheque in order to run the above advert. Alas the number of zeros were just too tempting, so take it away, Buff Enterprises!!

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Updated: Oh dear, the cheque from Buff Enterprises bounced, so its back to ad free blogging then.

The First Draft

There is another explanation for the lack of sailing and kayaking this year: I have been distracted.

In an earlier post about the National November Writing Month or NaNoWrMo (yucky acronym that) I suggested that I could write about 5k words in 3 days, roughly 1.5k / day. This was not a guestimate, it was the number that came from first hand experience.

About a year ago I had an idea for a novel, and on January 1st resolved to have a go at writing it. And today have finally reached the last page and have a first draft, all 93k words of it.

Of course to be realistic the publishing market hasn't been this bad...oooh.... since for ever, so the odds of getting it published are slim. And rather depressingly the moment the ink is dry on the last page (not literally of course) you have to start re-writing, as you know your characters so much better than at the start.

But review and rewrite is something I can do in November. For the goal has always been the more achievable objective to finish the book, and it looks as if am well on the way to achieving this by the 31st of December.

And, no, I'm not going to say anything about what its about, except there are connections to the picture above.

Group Writing Project - Fiction!

I am not doing NaNoWriMo - that's National November Writing Month for the uninitiated. For one thing that is far too many mixed caps for this touch typer.

The thing is 50k words seems an awful lot for a month that will no doubt also contain four and a bit weeks - that's 22 days - of work plus three nephew and niece birthdays plus visits to some of the relatives I've failed to keep in touch with due to ....er... work plus.... well, you get the idea. That leaves about 3 days free, within which I'd realistically expect to be able to ponding, dream, structure, write and then review 5k words, an order of magnitude too low.

But to join in the likes of Carol Anne how about we all try our hand and write a bit of fiction. It doesn't have to be long and can be done any time in November, so this is a laid back anyone can contribute group writing project.

It's just got to have something involving sailing or kayaking and be made up, that's it, any format that takes your fancy.

Any takers?

Execution Dock

Ahoy there, Buccaneer Buff here, or at least me spirit, that be.

Me hear many a pirate talking 'pon this day, namely the 19th of September, and it brings me back to find my way to 'ol Execution Dock. Many a fine pirate has taken his last voyage upon these Thames shore lines, aye, me shipmates and me, 'tis hard indeed.

But where is the spot our bodies were hung 'til three tides had washed away our lives? Where is said Execution Dock?

Well here be a map, like a treasure map but not of gold, rather death!

Aye, in Wapping be found. So I makes me way, wooden leg an' all, down those cobbled streets, searching for me last resting place in 'tis sorry world. Arr!

Shiver my timbers what should I find at t'spot indicated but one of the enemies of the pirates:

Blow me down, I'd rather share me hammock with a bilge rat!

All of a quiver I made me way down Wapping High Street 'til found myself in a pub of the name of The Town of Ramsgate. Ar, this is more like says I, wenches and grog.

Truth be told no one knows for sure where be Execution Dock, but, says I, this be a fair resting place.

At t'back there be these steps, all slimy, smelling of mud and green with weed - what a beauty says I. So I walk down those fair stairs till the muddy waters of the river Thames closed over me head.

Arr! 'Tis sweet to be home.

Book Review: The Swoop!

I say chaps you must read this absolutely spiffing good yarn from that P.G. Wodehouse writer cove (apparently from his bomb-proof shelter in London W.)

What's it about you ask? Well it's about how old England - good old England - is invaded by not one dastardly foreign army but nine of the blighters all at once which is a bit unsporting don't you know?

And what is worse they interrupted the cricket, walking in front of the bowling screens and digging trenches through the hallowed turf! And what the Russians did, well that was just beastly bad form, I mean, shooting a fox - bad show that, not cricket.

At first doesn't go that well for blighty, indeed as can be seen by Chapter 6 which you can read for yourself below:

Chapter 6: THE BOMBARDMENT OF LONDON

Thus was London bombarded. Fortunately it was August, and there was nobody in town. Otherwise there might have been loss of life.

Cricky you might well say!

Fortunately all is not lost as Clarence Chugwater, boy scout, was at hand complete with catapult and the ability to imitate the sound of a tarantula singing to its young. England expects and all that rot.

As you might well have guessed it all comes out smashing by the end, so sparkling limonado all round!

A totally topping short story - head over here chaps for your own free copy.

Writing like...

According to this site I write a bit like Margaret Attwood, Dan Brown, Arthur C. Clarke, Ian Fleming, James Joyce, Stephen King, H. P. Lovecraft, Edgar Allen Poe, J. D. Salinger, Jonathan Swift and P. G. Wodehouse.

Well at least those are the writer names that popped out when I pasted in some examples of my writing. I was reassured to find out that my pastiche of a Wooster story blogged earlier this year was indeed like P. G. Wodehouse. However my fake Dan Brown was apparently more like H. P. Lovecraft, but that might be because I haven't actually read anything by him.

Though I'm told that a key attribute of a writer is that they believe in themselves. So maybe I should say that Margaret Attwood, Dan Brown, Arthur C. Clarke, Ian Fleming, James Joyce, Stephen King, H. P. Lovecraft, Edgar Allen Poe, J. D. Salinger, Jonathan Swift and P. G. Wodehouse write a bit like me!

Anyway, who do you write like?


Updated: changed the picture above (long story)

A walk and talk with the Natural Navigator

I'm about two thirds through Tristan's book on Natural Navigation and enjoying it a lot. It makes you want to go out there and try them out in the field - hopefully with the NN himself to hand to pick up the subtle clues that otherwise I'd miss.

But there is a chance to do just that - and in comfort - simply by using your browser to follow Tristan and the BBC's Evan Davis as they explore the land around the M25 (so not exactly wilderness) .

Just click here to go to the BBC web site to watch the video, here to go to Tristan's site or here to go to Amazon to order your copy!

Haiku for Tillerman's Laser

I was very impressed by the talent on display inspired by the call to write a poem about the America's Cup, and decided that such skills deserved, nay demanded, a second showing.

But what topic to cover? Well how about the possible (or possibly not) damage to Tillerman's Laser.

So how about it, blog readers of the world, present your poetry please, on the "Ode to the fallen Sailboat (or maybe not)".

I'll kick-off with these Haiku: there are two as don't know whether the news is good or bad, hence:

Alas it gusted fifty

Tillerman's Laser is lost

Now we are all sad

Or

Despite it gusting fifty

Tillerman's Laser is safe

Now we are all glad

A Poem for the America's Cup

The Poet Laureate is the official bard of the royal family. It's a traditional post that goes back hundreds of years and holders of it include William Wordsworth, Lord Tennyson, John Masefield, John Betjeman and Ted Hughes.

There's been quite a variety of topics for their works, from wandering as lonely as a cloud to the sea fever that sailors get.

And today we have another, namely the skills of that great footballer David Beckham. The current holder, Carol Ann (no not that one, her surname is Duffy) is a big fan of the beautiful game and morns the loss of one of England's finest from the coming World Cup - and rightly too.

But where are the great poets for the sailing competitions of today? Did any crafter of words become inspired by the 33rd America's Cup? I would like to say I leapt at the chance to fill this gap but poetry is not my forte

Is there, then, someone out there who will be able to record for literary posterity something that captured the essence of the contest?

In order to show how low the threshold of quality really is, here are some lines using the structure of a limerick drafted by yours truly:

There was a young man named Ernesto

Who loved to race with a gusto

On loosing AC-33

Said Larry with glee

It’s time he hung up his Mustos

Oh dear! Please put us all out of our misery!

What would you pay to read?

The last post was about how "Keep turning left" is now charging 99c per download. But will that catch on?

Just after posting I got reading this article on the BBC web site about news sites paying for content. Two things didn't seem right. Firstly the idea that the NY Times is the world's greatest English language newspaper - sorry, it just isn't. We get the so called best of it with the Observer and it comes over as condescending, blinkered and biased, in particular about the Middle East (more details here).

The other was the concept of a "pay wall", which seems too rigid a concept. It comes from the time when news web sites had just two choices - to be free (i.e. advert funded) or to be subscription based (as per WSJ).

But now there are a range of options from micro-payments per page to pay per read to pay to own to first N free, pay for N+1.

And this flexibility means that payment could in future be a question for bloggers. I'd agree with the author of the Bursledon Blog that my decision from day one was I had no expectation of getting anything out of blogging apart from exercise at the discipline and craft of writing, so there was no need of distracting adverts.

However Dylan's move did make me wonder - along with Tillerman and O'Docker - what would people pay for?

My first cut answer was it had to be something unique and the result of effort or expertise that the general reader either didn't have the time or skills to do them selves. And alas most of what gets posted here would fail those criteria.

But there is a lot of talent out there, and sailing must be a classic niche marketing activity. Not to get to hot-airy, but user generated content for niche interests is a sure fire winner from the opening up publishing to the general public. The professionalism of Keep Turning Left is an excellent example of this.

And the forthcoming iPad brings out some new possibilities - publishing eBooks and articles direct to the public with no publisher or agent. And that is no doubt scaring many, many people in the industry out there.

So it is ironic that the probable most bankable part of this blog would be a fictional sozzled Australian quasi-hack. But is it fair to unleash "Buff Staysail and the swimsuit shoot" on the web - either to its readers or its writer?

I think for all concerned it might be better if this remains a free to read and hence unconstrained to write blog.

Love and Sailing - what happened next?

In yesterday's post on the less than romantic voyage of Alan and Cleo, Adam, who appropriately blogged on the start of this year's ARC, asked whether there is a part 2?

Well that is a good question, far too good for just me, so what do you think happened next?