Today this blog welcomes (if that is the right word) the return of the columnist Glenn Beard, the man unafraid to speak his mind.
Friends, I am here because I am mad!!
I have just analysed the visitor logs for this blog and I discovered a disturbing statistic - the readers overwhelming come from freedom-fries loving countries!!
So what, I hear your lame-stream media liberal appeasers ask? Well, let me tell you another fact that will blow your mind. This blog was founded in November 2005 in the UK and then in just a few months afterwards, in fact in 2006, the UK's GDP fell below that of China!!
Co-incidence, I think not!!
This blog has no real information content and rarely involves any actual sailing or kayaking. What it does do is give a few seconds or even minutes of distraction, which leads me to the final conclusive statistic - many readers access this blog during work hours.
So you begin to see through the schemer's veil. Those commie bastards, aiming to undermine civilisation as we know it, have created a blog with no real content, but which reduces western productivity to a fatal degree.
You don't believe me? Well I had my doubts until I found this confession earlier this year: this blog is written by a Syrian lesbian!!! Ok, officially it is a denial, but we all know what that means. The fools even labelled that post as fiction!!!
(beginning to cry)
So people, I love my country, and I beg of you, if you love yours too, stop reading this right now!